Deep, Dark, Truthful Mirror #2
I’ve heard it said that when you really want to change, you will, and there’s no point forcing yourself to if you’re not ready. Apparently, I’m ready.
A few months back, I changed jobs. While the work I’m doing now isn’t really any “sexier” than my previous 10-year stint as a customer service rep, it’s much more relaxed, and allows me to actually do some things outside of my job description which I enjoy. In my old job, any attempt to reach beyond one’s station was met with a crushing burden of red tape meant, I can only assume, to dissuade one from even trying to better one’s self.
I’ve also been actively trying to do something about my weight and health. I’ve voraciously read online fitness forums and resources, and miraculously seem to have found a healthy, sustainable (in the “I can do this” sense, not necessarily in the environmental sense) way to eat. I joined a gym, and I’ve been going regularly for about a month and a half.
One afternoon, I was working out on the elliptical machine and happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrors on the wall facing a bank of treadmills. I was surprised to see, not hollow-eyed dread or disgust, but acceptance and possibility. I needed a fresh start, and apparently, found one. I could still imagine my face in the mirror that day in Salem, but for once I could see a future where things were much better. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.
“My cup is one-sixteenth full. I’m gettin’ there, but the gettin’s slow.” - Glen Phillips, “Released“
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